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Thank fucking god. I’ve been hanging on to each day by my fingernails and have felt myself slipping. As I told Mimi, it’s like all my adrenaline ran out at once.
After the fever, I realized I had to stop and I will, in the new year. Until then, a taste of what it will be like when my days have no union in them.
It’s been three and a half years since my days have had no union in them.
Tomorrow, I’ll make a pot of coffee and write down all of the things I’ve been thinking about but haven’t had the energy to lock into place. Then, I’ll look through the books I picked up at the library today. And then maybe I’ll do the dishes.
I said, maybe.