I apologize for the absence of posts in recent days. Among other things, I have been shopping.
As some of you know, I have been looking for a summer dress since the first heat wave descended upon this city in June. Until today, I have had no luck at all. None. I have found evening dresses, cocktail dresses, work dresses, even prom dresses, but nothing that any woman in her right mind would want to wear on a blisteringly hot day.
Today, I found a summer dress. In fact, I found three. One is green with yellow flowers and has buttons down the front; the second is red with thin little straps; the third is blue and white and as sheer as rice paper. The total cost of the three dresses was nineteen dollars, and every one of them fits me.
This is nothing short of a miracle.
Having procured these dresses, I intend to wear them every single day until fall arrives. I will wear them around the house; I will wear them to work; I will wear them while biking to various destinations and not think twice about doing so. In fact, I will revel in the faint evening breeze as it acquaints itself with every inch of my body, and if that same breeze momentarily displaces the skirt of the dress as I ride, then I will laugh uproariously at my own indecency and keep on riding.
Wearing these dresses, I will never sweat again, even without air conditioning. Air conditioning? I don’t need no stinking air conditioning—I’ve got summer dresses! Heat wave? I can take everything you’ve got and more, Environment Canada! Forty-one degrees with the humidex? Bring it on, motherfucker! I’m a Montréalaise in a summer dress, and don’t you forget it!
Now, if I could only find a decent pair of sandals...