I got my hair cut today. While at the salon, I leafed through the May issue of Marie Claire and learned about the following things:
1. Vaginal rejuvenation surgery: A tighter fit for only $12,000. I’m told my man will love it.
2. G-Spot collagen injections, AKA G-Spot Amplification™: Apparently, it only hurts like hell for a minute.
3. “Dogging”: Group sex in parking lots, complete with automotive come-on code. And me without a driver’s license.
In other news, riots have broken out in Kabul and anti-US demonstrations are spreading across the region. According to Pakistani news sources, non-essential UN workers are being relocated from Jalalabad, presumably to the capital. With luck, Atomic will soon be evacuated and we will reunite on a terrasse.