According to today’s Gazette, women’s brains are distinctively altered by the experience of breaking up with a romantic partner. No, seriously.
For those who can’t be bothered, Jeffery Lorberbaum, the co-author of the study, concludes:
"In this report we speculate that the brain regions involved in emotion, motivation and attention are impaired with severe grief. If we can first understand the brain basis of grief then we eventually might be able to help those disabled by grief and understand how depression is triggered."
Ah, where to begin?
With the fact that being “disabled” by grief is apparently defined as experiencing sadness when thinking about the former partner sixteen weeks after the end of the relationship? (An eternity, really.)
Or with the fact that the scientists neglected to inflict the study upon any biological males? (Perhaps they were all watching Nascar at the time?)
Or with the suggestion that the entirety of human experience is “brain-based,” and therefore ripe for pharmaceutical correction? (Sales of Viagra have plateaued, after all.)
It’s really starting to feel like the twentieth century never happened, isn’t it?